Sweet Fruit

Even though we couldn’t keep our eyes off each other on the base, I was nervous when I finally walked over to Jackie’s room to get her for the movie. I’d never been on a date with a woman before, and I had no idea what two women were supposed to do in bed. It couldn’t be anything like having sex with a man, unless she had one of those strap-on things, and that would be just ridiculous and anyway out of the question in the dormitory. I told myself not to worry. We were going off base, and if I could just hold her hand during the movie, that would be enough.

I had butterflies in my stomach as I knocked and heard her footsteps approaching from the other side. My cheeks were suddenly hot, and my mouth was dry. She opened the door, still wearing fatigues. We just stood there, smiling at each other like idiots. Then she took hold of me by the wrist and pulled me inside, closed the door, and pressed me up against the wall.

There was no talking and no kissing, at least not on the lips. She dropped down in front of me and pulled my panties down from under my skirt and pushed my skirt up with both hands and dug in with her tongue. I was still too shocked to do anything but lean my shoulders back against the wall and tilt my legs to give her room. She slid a finger into me, or two, while nuzzling and tugging with her lips. Her whole face was slippery against me now, and I put my hands on her braids and pulled her tight as my legs started shaking uncontrollably.

And then we lay down on her bed for more. We never did make it to the movie. In fact, I don’t think we even took a break for dinner. Thank god her roommate was on leave.

Orgasm

The experience of orgasm is similar for men and women. Pleasure builds until you feel a sense of inevitability, at which point your skin flushes, pulse accelerates, and breathing quickens. As the wave of tension and release surges through you, your muscles clench and spasm. Vaginal and anal muscles contract, squeezing the penis or other penetrating objects even more tightly than before, and the man’s throbbing erection may bounce up and down as it ejaculates.

Men can reach orgasm within a few minutes of intercourse or masturbation, or even faster if they are highly aroused. Women benefit from longer foreplay and stimulation of multiple erogenous sites.

By the time a man reaches the point of inevitability, spermatic fluids have accumulated in the prostate and other glands and ducts, from which they are forcefully ejected in a series of muscular contractions. The head of the penis becomes uncomfortably sensitive to touch during and after orgasm, so he may need to stop thrusting or withdraw his penis. If you are jerking or sucking a penis when the man starts to come, you should adjust the pace and tightness of your grip; do not squeeze harder or you may stymie the ejaculation.

Male ejaculate consists of sperm floating in a mixture of cholesterol, sugars, salts and protein, which has a sweet and salty taste and a faint smell of chlorine. Semen can vary in consistency from watery to gelatinous (or a mix of both), and the volume depends in part on the length of arousal and the number of days since the last ejaculation. A tablespoon is a typical amount, and maximum volume is reached after about five days. A thinner, slippery “pre-come” may also drip from the tip of the penis during arousal, and this contributes to lubrication during intercourse. Women also exude lubricating fluids and may ejaculate a small amount from the pee-hole at the time of orgasm.

Men experience a refractory period after orgasm, during which it is difficult to become erect again, and this refractory period becomes longer and longer with age. (Adolescents and young adults may be able to get hard again within a few minutes if they are sufficiently psychologically aroused.) Women have an advantage over men in their ability to reach orgasm multiple times in succession.

The Snake

The Snake is defined by the bottom partner lying face down with legs together. It can be thought of as a collapsed Doggy Style. In the standard version, the top partner lies on top of the bottom, chest-to-back. The advantage, relative to the Doggy Style, comes from the pressing together of the legs, so that the penis is gripped in part by the thighs and buttocks. The position may also be more comfortable and permit more groping and cuddling. The top can thrust forward into the vagina and either forward or downward into the anus, depending also on how the bottom tilts the hips.

Some variations:

The Plough: The top leans back at the waist and balances on hands or elbows, in order to have a better view and increase the tension and control of penetration.

Spread Snake: The bottom’s legs are spread wide and the top lies between them. What is lost in the grip of the thighs is gained by the depth of penetration. Conveys total prostration.

Spooning: Like the traditional Snake, except that both partners lie on their sides. Might be more comfortable when the bottom is pregnant or the top is overweight.

Cross Snake: The top lies perpendicularly across the bottom. May be less painful for the bottom during initiation of anal sex, because the width of the penis and anal sphincters are better aligned. The bottom can lie on one side and bend the upper leg to provide better access.

Dressage: The top partner straddles the bottom and thrusts into the ass while sitting up. May be more difficult to reach and stay in the vagina from this position. Provides the top with excellent control over the angle and tension of penetration. Easy to slip back down into the standard Snake for greater depth.

The Snake can also be enjoyed without penetration by “splitting rocks” (as it is called in Sri Lanka) between the thighs or by humping the buttocks.

The Vulva

If a woman undresses in front of you, you probably will not see her sexual organs, because they are folded together between her legs and covered by a triangular patch of pubic hair. The pubic hair grows from the skin of the lower abdomen and from the labial mounds between the legs. It is generally curlier than hair on the head, though it may be fairly straight in women of Asian or Native American background. If the woman has shaved her pubic area, you may see a cleft where the two labial mounds press together, concealing the rest of the genitals, though the inner labial lips may protrude a little, depending on their size. Only when the woman spreads her legs while sitting, lying, or bending over, do the labia unfold to reveal the nestled, elliptical structures around the vagina.

The labial mounds are fatty folds of skin that have hair and sweat glands. They are anatomically similar to scrotal skin in men and similarly sensitive to touch; running fingers through the hair can increase blood flow and lubrication to the region. Inside the labial mounds are the even more sensitive, thinner labial lips, which are hairless and usually darker in color. The lips come together at the top in a hood which can be gently pushed back to reveal the clitoris, a small knob of tissue that is the focal point for sexual pleasure in most women. The hood of the clitoris, also called the prepuce, is analogous to the foreskin of the male penis. Pulling gently on the hood or labial lips will also stimulate the clitoris.

Below the clitoris and between the labial lips is a small area of pink or reddish skin which serves as the floor into which the vagina opens. Doctors refer to this area as the vestibule. There is a tiny mound for the urethral opening, or pee-hole, in this area, midway between the clitoris and the vaginal opening. When a woman is sexually aroused, the urethra closes, and lubricating fluids are released from ducts opening invisibly into the urethral mound. Many women ejaculate a small amount of clear or milky fluid at the time of orgasm.

In girls, the reddish skin of the vestibule is continuous with the hymen, a small curtain of mucous membrane that incompletely covers the opening to the vagina. The hymen is rich in blood vessels and may bleed a little when it is torn during first sexual intercourse. This was (and in parts of the world continues to be) an important sign of virginity, especially for girls who married at an early age. The hymen becomes increasingly translucent, thin, and elastic with age, so many women now do not experience any bleeding by the time they first experience penetration. During childbirth, the hymen stretches to the point where it is no longer visible, or only tiny remnants may be visible around the edge of the vaginal opening.

The Mouth

From the time we are infants, we derive pleasure and give and receive affection through our mouths. Freud thought oral sexuality was a developmental stage to be abandoned after breast-feeding, but the pleasures of the mouth are a unique and crucial part of the sexual repertoire. Teenagers who are not yet ready to have genital intercourse can enjoy kissing, necking, and even oral sex, and some men and women continue to prefer oral sex to other forms of intercourse. Kissing remains the most affectionate form of sexual expression, which makes it essential for some and a taboo for others (for example, a macho type will seek a blowjob from a man but turn away from his kiss).

Lips come in a variety of shapes and sizes that contribute to appearance and the quality of stimulation they provide. The skin of the lips has a dry surface on the outside and moist mucous membrane on the inside (which makes it similar to the entrance of the vagina). Fat lies beneath the surface of the lips, making them soft, while a thin muscle circles the mouth and allows for the pursing of the lips. This muscle is involved when you press lips together during passionate kissing, when you pucker around a nipple or clitoris, or when you encircle the shaft of a penis during fellatio. Since the outside of the lips are naturally dry, these activities may be more pleasant if they are wetted with saliva, lipstick, or petroleum jelly.

The lips work together with the muscles of the cheeks to create enough suction to lightly bruise the skin of the neck when making a “hickey” or love-bite. Some people also use their teeth to gently bite and tug on the nipples, labia, or foreskin during sex. This requires some control and attention to not hurt your partner. Some people also enjoy the light pain that comes from being bitten on the skin, and a full chapter is devoted to this form of love-making in the ancient Indian Kamasutra.

The tongue is essentially a muscle surrounded by mucous membrane. The muscle fibers run in all directions, so the tongue is able to stretch, curl, flick, and move dexterously. The upper surface of the tongue is textured, in order to better grip food, which contributes to the wet sensation of friction which makes a probing tongue so exciting.

Variations on Doggie Style

The Supplicant: Bottom semi-prone on elbows, face and chest to the ground. When the sex is especially good, the bottom becomes a worshiper, prostrate on the bed, offering his or her butt as a sacrifice. May slightly improve the depth and angle of penetration and provide greater stability and comfort during forceful thrusting. Emphasizes the beauty and flexibility of the bottom’s torso.

Tall Doggie: Bottom crouched on bed or other platform, top standing straight. Advantage: may be more comfortable for the top, depending on the relative height of the two partners. Disadvantage: more contrived and clinical and less intimate.

The Monkey: Top straddling with knees bent. Advantage: with legs akimbo and knees bent, the top has maximal range of motion for powerful thrusts. When mirrors or observers are present, this position provides the best view from behind of both partners. Emphasizes the athleticism of the top, especially in the buttocks and thighs.

True Doggie: Both partners on their knees, chest-to-back. Advantage: more intimate; kissing, nibbling, and fondling possible. Disadvantages: less range of motion and less variation in the depth of penetration. Can be uncomfortable or difficult to maintain if the partners are not well matched in size (the top a bit taller than the bottom).

The Archer: Top on one bent knee. A compromise or transitional position, between the full doggie and monkey positions. Allows the top to aim more precisely, but limits the depth of penetration. Not for novices, who may end up tipping each other over and changing the mood.

Doggie Style

This is the first in a series of posts about the variety of sexual positions that can be enjoyed by men and women in different combinations.

As much as I enjoy coming up with new terms, the common name for this position is just too popular and too apt. The doggie style is defined by the top partner mounting from behind the bottom, who is bent on hands and knees. Both men and women can play either role; a woman can use a strap-on dildo. In each case, the feeling of taking or being taken from behind may add an element of excitement, communicating animal passion. The top may enjoy a greater feeling of control, or domination, and enjoy the view of the partner from behind being penetrated.

The vagina can be entered just as deeply, if not more so, from this position, compared to the missionary position. The clitoris may get less direct stimulation, but the G-spot will be in the direct path of the thrusting penis or dildo. The top can switch from vaginal to anal intercourse without altering position much, though hygiene may be a concern when alternating between the two. The buttocks provide a nice cushion during anal sex, their protrusion only slightly limiting the depth of anal penetration. Anal sex in this position can be more painful initially for the bottom, because he or she has less control of the angle and pace of entry. A male bottom may also get less prostate stimulation, since penises tend to curve upwards.

The doggie style can also be enjoyed without penetration. The penis can slide between clenched thighs (intracrural) or up between the buttock cheeks. The top can place a hand on the back of the penis to sandwich it against the buttocks, or the bottom can reach between the legs to guide the penis between the thighs. Even without penetration, the friction against the asshole, clitoris, or lips of the vulva can be very pleasing. Advantage: a good position when you don’t have a condom handy or are not prepared for full intercourse (but be aware that infectious diseases and pregnancy are still a risk, especially if the top ejaculates onto the anus or vagina). Disadvantage: may be tantalizing and less satisfying to both partners, but especially the bottom; the skin of the thighs and buttocks may be uncomfortably dry; humping is best when the bottom has a generous booty; uncertainty about where the top should ejaculate.

Stay tuned for variations on the doggie style.